worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
