i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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