You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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