smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
