can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
