it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
