i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
