i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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