You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
