Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
