a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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