It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
