Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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