I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
