I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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