i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
