i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
