have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You made out with two different species that night
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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