She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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