i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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