Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You may now shotgun with the bride
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
