so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
