yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
