Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
