Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
