Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
