12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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