discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
