you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
