Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
