Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
