Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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