Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
