Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
