it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
