I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize