Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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