Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
