She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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