respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
