Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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