The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
