So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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