I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
