how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
