I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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