i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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