Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
