she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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