Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
