all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
