I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
