eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize