i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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