Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
