so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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