Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
