I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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