That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
