this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
