not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
